Quips - a selection of very short stories

1

Scattered Tables

In the café, whilst he browsed the papers,

the young man on the table opposite

was solving the crossword.

The attractive woman to his left

was writing on pink papers to her absent lover.

The jaundice middle-aged man at the back

sighed and carried on reading a book.

about the diseases of the liver!

2

A Breakdown Beyond the Sand Dunes

He said, ‘It is not easy.’

In her goatshair home she cried,

‘I need you now.’

‘Next week.’ He coldly replied.

Tearful she begged, ‘I am desperate!’

‘But there are others.’ He retorted.

 A sudden sweet memory inched into his mind.

He relented, ‘Maybe tomorrow.’

‘Wonderful. I can’t wait.’

At last, the repairman would come

to mend her washing machine.

3

Together At Last

Every spare minute he has

he spends either

in the garden or in the café.

Every spare minute she has

she spends in front of the tv.

She watches whatever is on.

Both seem happy

with their retirement.

A lifetime of being apart.

 

4

Football

A football match was in progress.

‘Who are they?’

I asked the chap next to me.

‘They are.’ He pointed to the grounds,

‘But who are they?’

‘The red team kicks the ball to the left,

 the blue team kicks it to the right.’

‘Yes, but who are they.’ I asked.

‘Don’t know.’ He spoke.

‘I am waiting for my wife.’

5

Where Will I Wear My Ring

The young soldier

who lost both arms in the war,

was troubled,

‘What if I get engaged?’

He became obsessed by wristwatches

and golden rings.

On his wheelchair

Daily hr rushed to the jewellers’ shopwindows.

Tearful, he stared at what might have been.

6

The Instinctive Urge

Every day,

the kittenish virgin spied the young beau

passing her window.

Blushing crimson

she squeezed her pert nipples.

In her gossamer curtain folds,

she coquettishly veiled her face.

Flushing red

to obscure his throbbing excitement

into his pockets the admirer slid his hands.

7

Harassment

He was tall and handsome.

She was plain and easily overlooked.

He was brooding and powerful

And steely jawed.

She typed for him, filed for him.

And fantasised about him.

One day he took off her glasses

and held her close.

He told her she was beautiful.

She reported him for sexual harassment.

8

Unassuming

Her pair of wings

 beat 500 times a second.

Her compound eyes

can see 100 separate images per second.

Her sense of smell

is extraordinary.

Her species existed millions of years

before the Homo Sapiens appeared.

Still, everywhere she prospers.

Who is this marvel of Nature?

The humble house fly.

9

Skill

The advert said,

‘Join the army and learn a trade.’

Nader did.

Quickly trained and packed off to the Yamen.

There he learned to kill fellow Arabs

and became proficient.

So carelessly he lost a foot and an arm to a landmine.

He had a profession.

But discovered employment hard to find.

10

Children

They worked hard,

went without

to give their kids the things they never had,

a good education and material comfort.

Their university educated son and daughter

laughed with embarrassment at their parents,

seldom visiting their impeccable humble home.

‘We have nothing in common.’

They explain to their smart rich friends.

11

Spooky

The last time I saw Mohamad alive,

I was filling a lottery card.

Smiling he said, ‘Try 11-16-10-40.’

I did not know then.

that Mohammad was foretelling

the exact date and time of his passing.

It was sixteenth November

Forty minutes past ten

That the lorry hit him,

His body was instantly strewed apart.